At 2 pm I have a job interview with a company called ITT Sensor. I found the ad in the Free Lance and I went online and applied. I got a call the next day and was set up with an interview.
This company is located in Fredericksburg.
I also got a call from the Pentagon. A company called Information Tech Solutions. The pentagon.. crazy. I'm scared
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
and... Now I've Lost My JOB
Yeah that is right.. I went to work on Friday and there was a "Reduction in Force" which means.. contract came to an end and they had 3 admins and only 2 positions and based on my only being there 9 months I was out. Just like that.. done. I did get some pay to last me until about Oct. 7th. So for now I'm jub hunting like Steve Irwin.
I was really upset on Friday.. and at moments I'm still REALLY REALLY pissed off. Mostly I just feel so alone on this stupid fucking journey that I "must" go on.. as my mother says. Even if my friends are there or not.. I feel alone and it sucks.
They say when God gives you lemons, make lemonade.. well I wish God would even hand me a lemon. I get a direction in which the tree is in.. thats about it.
For once in my life.. can something just be stable and steady. That is all I've ever asked for.. Stable and Steady.
So.. hopefully this will turn out positive. I'm going to keep an open mind and a closed wallet (hahaha) through this stupid month and just hope that maybe I will find something better.
I was really upset on Friday.. and at moments I'm still REALLY REALLY pissed off. Mostly I just feel so alone on this stupid fucking journey that I "must" go on.. as my mother says. Even if my friends are there or not.. I feel alone and it sucks.
They say when God gives you lemons, make lemonade.. well I wish God would even hand me a lemon. I get a direction in which the tree is in.. thats about it.
For once in my life.. can something just be stable and steady. That is all I've ever asked for.. Stable and Steady.
So.. hopefully this will turn out positive. I'm going to keep an open mind and a closed wallet (hahaha) through this stupid month and just hope that maybe I will find something better.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
I've lost my mind...........
So this post is about as random as they come.. but hey, I'm blogging.
Do you ever feel nuts? I'm talking about the kind of crazy where you freak out over nothing, you can catch yourself on the verge of tears with nothing sad happening? The crazy where you think something might happen that day.. something really bad like a car accident or a fucking tornado or something stupid like that. I know that anxiety is here and there and everyone gets it. Lately I've felt completely psychotic. Of course, I have pms. Shocking that I'm a fuckin loon the 5 days before aunt comes to visit. Either way... I have being crazy!! So.. I'm really excited. Crazy that I'm excited.. nah.. I went to the dr. 2 weeks ago and she switched my birth control. She put me on yaz and I get to start taking it next week. I REALLY REALLY hope it helps with my pms.
and. let me start by saying I have the worst GD indigestion I've ever had and it has lasted now for about a month 1/2 maybe.. something around there. No matter what I eat or drink.. I end up practically puking in my mouth, can't sleep and the other night I woke up in fear I was having a heart attack. I feel like drinking a whole gallon of milk.. but it doesn't help. That just causes my stomach to hurt. So I started taking 1 tablet of alkaseltzer a night. That seems to work pretty well so far. When should I go to the dr? I really don't want any kind of tube put down my throat, my nose or up my ass!!! For now I'm going to avoid spicy and fried foods and I'm going to try and eat slower. Drinking more water too I guess. I just hope that something helps. Maybe I'm just getting old.. Damn it!
2nd.. lets talk about my aerobics class. I'm definitely really glad I'm taking this class. It is a 2 credit class at Germanna. It is motivation to work out because.. hey, if I don't go I don't pass and I don't ever graduate. It's more motivation than spending money on a gym! hahaha.. so here we are in aerobics class. First day.. they made us do interval training and made us jump rope. FUCK THAT I do not ever want to do that again!!! I saw stars and almost threw up when i got to my car. Funny thing.. I was on a jump rope team when i was young LOL.. man wouldn't it be completely awesome to have that energy back again. So Thursday we had a physical fitness test.. and they say you can't fail.. but I definitely FAILED. I'm FAT. No really.. it's proven now. hahaha.. My body fat % is 28%. That means that over a quarter of my body is fat. That is just not cool. 32# is obese and 20-25% is average. Looking at this situation "glass half full" at least I'm closer to being normal than being obese. :) Oh, and I also have a horrible.. horrible resting heart rate. normal is 50-70ish. Mine..85. My poor heart is going to pump right out of my chest.. Hey, maybe that is why I have heart burn? who knows.. So.. not only am I avoiding fatty foods (as stated above) I'm going to start working out more too. I have another physical fitness test in 3 weeks and I'm really hoping to see an improvement. My grandfather had heart attacks and my mom's mom died of heart failure. I need to start with this now before I'm dying at the age of 55 from heartburn, pms and obesity!
Last.. I totally told my boyfriend I loved him. Drunken TEXT. I'm serious.. yep, most people wait for this "special" moment in a relationship to look each other deep into the eyes and confess their dying love. Not me.. i text it at midnight while I'm drunk taking a humanities quiz online. I told him exactly how I felt. I was almost humiliated.. but now I think about it, I laugh outloud. It's comical because the 2 of us aren't emotional people. We don't hold hands in the movie theater or stare at each other while we're eating. We're chill.. he does his thing I do mine and we are friends. It's awesome. The next day after my stupid drunken text (btw.. fuck vodka I'm not drinking it anymore) anyhow, the next day he came over.. so I didn't scare him away! shew... haha. Plus, we have been dating 9 months.. hey, todays the 7th. 9 months today actually, so it's not like we've only been dating 2 months or something. It's not completely crazy and irrational that I love him. I just feel so cheezy now
So.. thats what I've been up to. Dave leaves for Lynchburg end of September / beginning of October. I'm still waiting for Roxanna to let me meet Lily. I think she is starting to be selfish and not allowing Lily to make new friends, but hey ;). I'm going to school 4 nights a week and thats about it.
Do you ever feel nuts? I'm talking about the kind of crazy where you freak out over nothing, you can catch yourself on the verge of tears with nothing sad happening? The crazy where you think something might happen that day.. something really bad like a car accident or a fucking tornado or something stupid like that. I know that anxiety is here and there and everyone gets it. Lately I've felt completely psychotic. Of course, I have pms. Shocking that I'm a fuckin loon the 5 days before aunt comes to visit. Either way... I have being crazy!! So.. I'm really excited. Crazy that I'm excited.. nah.. I went to the dr. 2 weeks ago and she switched my birth control. She put me on yaz and I get to start taking it next week. I REALLY REALLY hope it helps with my pms.
and. let me start by saying I have the worst GD indigestion I've ever had and it has lasted now for about a month 1/2 maybe.. something around there. No matter what I eat or drink.. I end up practically puking in my mouth, can't sleep and the other night I woke up in fear I was having a heart attack. I feel like drinking a whole gallon of milk.. but it doesn't help. That just causes my stomach to hurt. So I started taking 1 tablet of alkaseltzer a night. That seems to work pretty well so far. When should I go to the dr? I really don't want any kind of tube put down my throat, my nose or up my ass!!! For now I'm going to avoid spicy and fried foods and I'm going to try and eat slower. Drinking more water too I guess. I just hope that something helps. Maybe I'm just getting old.. Damn it!
2nd.. lets talk about my aerobics class. I'm definitely really glad I'm taking this class. It is a 2 credit class at Germanna. It is motivation to work out because.. hey, if I don't go I don't pass and I don't ever graduate. It's more motivation than spending money on a gym! hahaha.. so here we are in aerobics class. First day.. they made us do interval training and made us jump rope. FUCK THAT I do not ever want to do that again!!! I saw stars and almost threw up when i got to my car. Funny thing.. I was on a jump rope team when i was young LOL.. man wouldn't it be completely awesome to have that energy back again. So Thursday we had a physical fitness test.. and they say you can't fail.. but I definitely FAILED. I'm FAT. No really.. it's proven now. hahaha.. My body fat % is 28%. That means that over a quarter of my body is fat. That is just not cool. 32# is obese and 20-25% is average. Looking at this situation "glass half full" at least I'm closer to being normal than being obese. :) Oh, and I also have a horrible.. horrible resting heart rate. normal is 50-70ish. Mine..85. My poor heart is going to pump right out of my chest.. Hey, maybe that is why I have heart burn? who knows.. So.. not only am I avoiding fatty foods (as stated above) I'm going to start working out more too. I have another physical fitness test in 3 weeks and I'm really hoping to see an improvement. My grandfather had heart attacks and my mom's mom died of heart failure. I need to start with this now before I'm dying at the age of 55 from heartburn, pms and obesity!
Last.. I totally told my boyfriend I loved him. Drunken TEXT. I'm serious.. yep, most people wait for this "special" moment in a relationship to look each other deep into the eyes and confess their dying love. Not me.. i text it at midnight while I'm drunk taking a humanities quiz online. I told him exactly how I felt. I was almost humiliated.. but now I think about it, I laugh outloud. It's comical because the 2 of us aren't emotional people. We don't hold hands in the movie theater or stare at each other while we're eating. We're chill.. he does his thing I do mine and we are friends. It's awesome. The next day after my stupid drunken text (btw.. fuck vodka I'm not drinking it anymore) anyhow, the next day he came over.. so I didn't scare him away! shew... haha. Plus, we have been dating 9 months.. hey, todays the 7th. 9 months today actually, so it's not like we've only been dating 2 months or something. It's not completely crazy and irrational that I love him. I just feel so cheezy now
So.. thats what I've been up to. Dave leaves for Lynchburg end of September / beginning of October. I'm still waiting for Roxanna to let me meet Lily. I think she is starting to be selfish and not allowing Lily to make new friends, but hey ;). I'm going to school 4 nights a week and thats about it.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
He's leaving :(
Dave's leaving at the end of September. Lynchburg.. I know it is only 2 - 3 hours away but I think I'm really freaking out. He and I have talked about it and we want to continue our relationship. We will just see each other on the weekends. I was fine at first because I don't think I'd really thought about it. Now I'm really upset. I don't know if today is just a bad day and I'm just overall stressed by other things like my school and homework and no sleep and stuff or that I'm just really dreading him leaving. Maybe a mixture of both. Maybe the unknown.. like, what if I put everything into this and he is just too busy with his new job. What if it gets to the point where we feel like strangers.. that would really suck. People say whats meant to be is meant to be no matter what happens. I don't like that theory at all. I definitely live by it.. but I don't have to like it. Why can't things just be simple.. I'm starting to feel angry. Not towards Dave at all.. I am happy for him and I want him to do what he needs to do to fulfill his life. If he's not satisfied with himself how can he make me happy.
What bothers me most is that I can't just look at Dave and say... I'm going to miss you or I really don't want you to leave it really upsets me. Instead I just play it off like it doesn't bother me. It does. It bothers me a lot. It bothers me to the point where I'm dreading the end of the month. I hate it
What bothers me most is that I can't just look at Dave and say... I'm going to miss you or I really don't want you to leave it really upsets me. Instead I just play it off like it doesn't bother me. It does. It bothers me a lot. It bothers me to the point where I'm dreading the end of the month. I hate it
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
School.. School.. I like School
School starts Monday. I'm really REALLY excited. I know it sounds completely lame considering I'm 27 years old and I should've graduated ancient years ago.. but I'm really excited.
Although........... I got my humanities book in the mail the other day. Gag me with a spoon it's about the most boring book I've ever seen, well other than the western civilization book that I had back in high school. I was thinking.. humanities, hmm... I'll learn about cultures and it will be very similar to sociology, which I loved in college. Not nearly cool in comparison at all, I see a lot of structural designs and geographical stuff going on in that book. Not cool. I hate history. My work pays for 100% of my classes if I make over a C though.. so I'm going to learn to love it.
I start Monday. Can't wait.
Although........... I got my humanities book in the mail the other day. Gag me with a spoon it's about the most boring book I've ever seen, well other than the western civilization book that I had back in high school. I was thinking.. humanities, hmm... I'll learn about cultures and it will be very similar to sociology, which I loved in college. Not nearly cool in comparison at all, I see a lot of structural designs and geographical stuff going on in that book. Not cool. I hate history. My work pays for 100% of my classes if I make over a C though.. so I'm going to learn to love it.
I start Monday. Can't wait.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Is Red In?
I hope so.. because I dyed my hair red. It was supposed to be a nice subtle auburn but it turned out to be a rose red. I think I like!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
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