Wednesday, August 27, 2008

He's leaving :(

Dave's leaving at the end of September. Lynchburg.. I know it is only 2 - 3 hours away but I think I'm really freaking out. He and I have talked about it and we want to continue our relationship. We will just see each other on the weekends. I was fine at first because I don't think I'd really thought about it. Now I'm really upset. I don't know if today is just a bad day and I'm just overall stressed by other things like my school and homework and no sleep and stuff or that I'm just really dreading him leaving. Maybe a mixture of both. Maybe the unknown.. like, what if I put everything into this and he is just too busy with his new job. What if it gets to the point where we feel like strangers.. that would really suck. People say whats meant to be is meant to be no matter what happens. I don't like that theory at all. I definitely live by it.. but I don't have to like it. Why can't things just be simple.. I'm starting to feel angry. Not towards Dave at all.. I am happy for him and I want him to do what he needs to do to fulfill his life. If he's not satisfied with himself how can he make me happy.
What bothers me most is that I can't just look at Dave and say... I'm going to miss you or I really don't want you to leave it really upsets me. Instead I just play it off like it doesn't bother me. It does. It bothers me a lot. It bothers me to the point where I'm dreading the end of the month. I hate it

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

School.. School.. I like School

School starts Monday. I'm really REALLY excited. I know it sounds completely lame considering I'm 27 years old and I should've graduated ancient years ago.. but I'm really excited.
Although........... I got my humanities book in the mail the other day. Gag me with a spoon it's about the most boring book I've ever seen, well other than the western civilization book that I had back in high school. I was thinking.. humanities, hmm... I'll learn about cultures and it will be very similar to sociology, which I loved in college. Not nearly cool in comparison at all, I see a lot of structural designs and geographical stuff going on in that book. Not cool. I hate history. My work pays for 100% of my classes if I make over a C though.. so I'm going to learn to love it.

I start Monday. Can't wait.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Is Red In?

I hope so.. because I dyed my hair red. It was supposed to be a nice subtle auburn but it turned out to be a rose red. I think I like!