Dave's leaving at the end of September. Lynchburg.. I know it is only 2 - 3 hours away but I think I'm really freaking out. He and I have talked about it and we want to continue our relationship. We will just see each other on the weekends. I was fine at first because I don't think I'd really thought about it. Now I'm really upset. I don't know if today is just a bad day and I'm just overall stressed by other things like my school and homework and no sleep and stuff or that I'm just really dreading him leaving. Maybe a mixture of both. Maybe the unknown.. like, what if I put everything into this and he is just too busy with his new job. What if it gets to the point where we feel like strangers.. that would really suck. People say whats meant to be is meant to be no matter what happens. I don't like that theory at all. I definitely live by it.. but I don't have to like it. Why can't things just be simple.. I'm starting to feel angry. Not towards Dave at all.. I am happy for him and I want him to do what he needs to do to fulfill his life. If he's not satisfied with himself how can he make me happy.
What bothers me most is that I can't just look at Dave and say... I'm going to miss you or I really don't want you to leave it really upsets me. Instead I just play it off like it doesn't bother me. It does. It bothers me a lot. It bothers me to the point where I'm dreading the end of the month. I hate it
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3 comments:
Dang, girl. That's unfortunate news. I hope everything works out. Hard as it may be for you, I strongly hope you do gather the ability to tell him how you really feel. He's probably hurting as much as you, and he might really want to know how much you care.
Good luck!
Quit being such a pussy and just talk the boy, jeez! What's the worst that can happen? You find out he's a jerk that doesn't give a shit about your feelings? Well better to find that out now rather than later, you know I will be here for you no matter what.
Bad language CINDY.. haha
We are fine. I'm not looking to say I love you or anything. He knows I care that hes moving so I'm fine.. he's fine.. everyones fine. I was having a really bad day.
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