First Day on The Job

HUGE




DUMB

I got a j ob

at the Pentagon. I got a job as an administrative support specialist in some office that supports the office of the secretary of defense. I start Monday. I'm excited, but I'm really scared.

I Fucked it UP

I went to my interview on Friday... Completely lost my mind and turned into a complete airhead! I was completely fine until the woman made me sit directly beside her. I was really uncomfortable.. what happened to the old fashioned sit across from someone and make eye contact? So I started sweating and freaking out and the phrase.............. AND STUFF............. came right on out. At least it was a practice interview.

I have an interview with the Pentagon. Actually it is with a company called Facility Technology Services, but located at the Pentagon. I'm actually really excited about this one... it pays REALLY well considering I never finsihed college. So, I really hope I don't F this one up!

I have an interview tomorrow

At 2 pm I have a job interview with a company called ITT Sensor. I found the ad in the Free Lance and I went online and applied. I got a call the next day and was set up with an interview.

This company is located in Fredericksburg.


I also got a call from the Pentagon. A company called Information Tech Solutions. The pentagon.. crazy. I'm scared

and... Now I've Lost My JOB

Yeah that is right.. I went to work on Friday and there was a "Reduction in Force" which means.. contract came to an end and they had 3 admins and only 2 positions and based on my only being there 9 months I was out. Just like that.. done. I did get some pay to last me until about Oct. 7th. So for now I'm jub hunting like Steve Irwin.
I was really upset on Friday.. and at moments I'm still REALLY REALLY pissed off. Mostly I just feel so alone on this stupid fucking journey that I "must" go on.. as my mother says. Even if my friends are there or not.. I feel alone and it sucks.
They say when God gives you lemons, make lemonade.. well I wish God would even hand me a lemon. I get a direction in which the tree is in.. thats about it.
For once in my life.. can something just be stable and steady. That is all I've ever asked for.. Stable and Steady.
So.. hopefully this will turn out positive. I'm going to keep an open mind and a closed wallet (hahaha) through this stupid month and just hope that maybe I will find something better.

I've lost my mind...........

So this post is about as random as they come.. but hey, I'm blogging.

Do you ever feel nuts? I'm talking about the kind of crazy where you freak out over nothing, you can catch yourself on the verge of tears with nothing sad happening? The crazy where you think something might happen that day.. something really bad like a car accident or a fucking tornado or something stupid like that. I know that anxiety is here and there and everyone gets it. Lately I've felt completely psychotic. Of course, I have pms. Shocking that I'm a fuckin loon the 5 days before aunt comes to visit. Either way... I have being crazy!! So.. I'm really excited. Crazy that I'm excited.. nah.. I went to the dr. 2 weeks ago and she switched my birth control. She put me on yaz and I get to start taking it next week. I REALLY REALLY hope it helps with my pms.

and. let me start by saying I have the worst GD indigestion I've ever had and it has lasted now for about a month 1/2 maybe.. something around there. No matter what I eat or drink.. I end up practically puking in my mouth, can't sleep and the other night I woke up in fear I was having a heart attack. I feel like drinking a whole gallon of milk.. but it doesn't help. That just causes my stomach to hurt. So I started taking 1 tablet of alkaseltzer a night. That seems to work pretty well so far. When should I go to the dr? I really don't want any kind of tube put down my throat, my nose or up my ass!!! For now I'm going to avoid spicy and fried foods and I'm going to try and eat slower. Drinking more water too I guess. I just hope that something helps. Maybe I'm just getting old.. Damn it!

2nd.. lets talk about my aerobics class. I'm definitely really glad I'm taking this class. It is a 2 credit class at Germanna. It is motivation to work out because.. hey, if I don't go I don't pass and I don't ever graduate. It's more motivation than spending money on a gym! hahaha.. so here we are in aerobics class. First day.. they made us do interval training and made us jump rope. FUCK THAT I do not ever want to do that again!!! I saw stars and almost threw up when i got to my car. Funny thing.. I was on a jump rope team when i was young LOL.. man wouldn't it be completely awesome to have that energy back again. So Thursday we had a physical fitness test.. and they say you can't fail.. but I definitely FAILED. I'm FAT. No really.. it's proven now. hahaha.. My body fat % is 28%. That means that over a quarter of my body is fat. That is just not cool. 32# is obese and 20-25% is average. Looking at this situation "glass half full" at least I'm closer to being normal than being obese. :) Oh, and I also have a horrible.. horrible resting heart rate. normal is 50-70ish. Mine..85. My poor heart is going to pump right out of my chest.. Hey, maybe that is why I have heart burn? who knows.. So.. not only am I avoiding fatty foods (as stated above) I'm going to start working out more too. I have another physical fitness test in 3 weeks and I'm really hoping to see an improvement. My grandfather had heart attacks and my mom's mom died of heart failure. I need to start with this now before I'm dying at the age of 55 from heartburn, pms and obesity!

Last.. I totally told my boyfriend I loved him. Drunken TEXT. I'm serious.. yep, most people wait for this "special" moment in a relationship to look each other deep into the eyes and confess their dying love. Not me.. i text it at midnight while I'm drunk taking a humanities quiz online. I told him exactly how I felt. I was almost humiliated.. but now I think about it, I laugh outloud. It's comical because the 2 of us aren't emotional people. We don't hold hands in the movie theater or stare at each other while we're eating. We're chill.. he does his thing I do mine and we are friends. It's awesome. The next day after my stupid drunken text (btw.. fuck vodka I'm not drinking it anymore) anyhow, the next day he came over.. so I didn't scare him away! shew... haha. Plus, we have been dating 9 months.. hey, todays the 7th. 9 months today actually, so it's not like we've only been dating 2 months or something. It's not completely crazy and irrational that I love him. I just feel so cheezy now

So.. thats what I've been up to. Dave leaves for Lynchburg end of September / beginning of October. I'm still waiting for Roxanna to let me meet Lily. I think she is starting to be selfish and not allowing Lily to make new friends, but hey ;). I'm going to school 4 nights a week and thats about it.