Thursday, October 18, 2007

Standin In The Kitchen Eatin Pizza

Do you ever get this dazed dreamy feeling and the thought.... How did I get here?

I've had this happen to me a lot in the past year. My life made a dramatic change in November. I had been living with my boyfriend at the time.. and we were fighting.. "but nothing as drastic as he thought".. and one day I came home and was packing my stuff. I wasn't kicked out.. he wanted to move out, but I said no. I couldn't afford the house by myself, plus his brother would live right behind me... ugh, pointless.
So, I packed my stuff, moved back in with my mom. I lived with my parents for about 2 months then moved out into an apartment with my friend Sarah in February. There was a particular night where I was feeling lonely and sad. Sarah was somewhere?? not sure.. but I had cooked a frozen pizza.. frozen, like outside. (it was sooo cold and snowy) and I stood there in my kitchen.. no furniture.. dishes weren't moved in yet.. just me and the pizza and wondered to myself.. how did I get here?
These "occurances" happen I would say once a month.. unless something drastic happens, then it sets one off. I want to say it is almost like a "reality seizure"... you realize that life is changing and your alive. So weird.

I was just wondering if anyone else has these.. "reality seizures"?

2 comments:

Roxanna said...

Yeah I know what you mean.

girlysmack said...

YES! I have had those moments. You should read "Eat, Pray, Love" by ELizabeth Gilbert. She talks about that feeling of your life not resembling you.